“I want you to let go.”
Me. You talking to me?
I knew it. But what are you trying to say? Who do you think I am?
I remember one of the first times that I was embarrassed that I didn’t know something. It was February and I was in the second grade. White paper had transformed the box in front of me from something that would hold shoes to a something that would hold mini-declarations of affection. My eight-year old fingers delicately placed tissue paper and red hearts along the sides of the shoebox. I was reserving the top of the box for something special. I wanted to write a poem I had memorized on top. What I thought was an intriguing poem at that age was actually more like a jump-rope rhyme…
I love somebody, can you guess who?
No, no, no…
I wrote the poem-rhyme on my box and it ended up looking more like this…
I love somebody, can you guess [insert fear–frustration–and hot tears]
I can still remember how frustrated I was trying to remember the correct spelling for “who”. I did not want to ask anyone. I really felt like I should know but I could not commit to the spellings that kept popping into my head. Hoo? How? Hoow? Who? They all looked wrong. There was no way that I was going to take a marker and write a misspelled word on something that everyone was going to see. I tried really hard to visualize the page of my jump-rope rhyme book that contained the elusive spelling.
With no dictionary in sight I hung my head low. I was possibly the only sad child in a room full of giddy giggles and glitter. It did not take long for the art teacher to notice that my enthusiasm for the project had grinded to a halt. He came over to ask me why I was upset. I squeaked out sentences that explained what I was trying to write and I painfully admitted that I could not remember how to spell “who”.
He leaned down, told me the answer, and encouraged me to ask questions.
Pen to paper reflection–
How can I make questions and answers easier for others?
What are the questions that I’m afraid to say?
What areas of my life concern those who are closest to me?
My Lent Journal:
So who do I think I am?
Sometimes I’m still a girl that wants to know but doesn’t want to ask.
So as I yield, I will continue to ask questions of myself that aren’t easy to answer.
I’m going to keep looking up. Even if I don’t know what’s coming I’ll be looking in the right direction.
I want to see. I want to know. I have to ask.
Can I pass on the perfect poem and hold tight to the song that whispers in the night?
I love you. You. You are enough. I am enough.
Yield 2016 soundtrack:
Whatever you do, you got to be true
Please don’t settle
Last Night God Sang Me A Song, The Whistles & The Bells
I hear the voices of my childhood singing it’s the world beyond those doorways where we used to play…
I was born to be free, you were born to free me…
Land of the Living, Roo Panes
Scripture: Psalm 27
Engage: #40acts Challenges