“I want you to let go.”
These are the words said to me. It was a dream, but not a dream.
There are deep desires within all of us that drive our search for meaning. If you are reading these words–you were born with desire and want inside of you. You have been pushing the gas pedal towards your want since your first breath and you are still here on the journey. Between the adventure and uncertainty our momentum varies. Our journey doesn’t always look like a memorable road trip…sometimes it resembles a slow crawl or our first impulsive lunge. Perhaps our present journey looks like an adult trying to pedal a tricycle.
The things that we want will not always make sense to other people. The path that I choose will look unique to me. The path that you choose will look unique to you.
Many roads diverged in adulthood and I had a choice of where my feet would fall.
Pen to paper reflection–
What does the road I am on look like?
Why did I choose this road?
- Was it the closest? The fastest? The easiest?
- The most comfortable? The most attractive?
- The road someone gave me permission to take?
- The one I felt qualified for?
- The one that revealed what I was missing?
What happens if I let go of the factors that influenced my past choices?
My Lent Journal:
I think that the road that I am on could be described as a set of stairs without a handrail. To keep my footing secure I choose to look down, even though my deepest desire is to look up. I stop looking forward to the next step and each movement becomes drudgery.
“I want you to let go.”
So…I’m letting go of every effort to control so I can see beyond my feet. Will I see these stairs transform into an escalator? If I let go, will I be pulled towards something greater?
This week I had a friend tell me that I was “literally/figuratively trying to walk on water”.
I can’t keep looking down.
I’m going to keep looking up.
This road is pulling me..there is a handrail and it’s moving right along with me.
I’m letting go.
Change my perspective.
Yield 2016 soundtrack:
Further than the eye can see, but nearer than the air I breathe,
I don’t need to see the end, to follow you all the way my friend.
Because your love takes us where we want to go!
Where I Want To Go, Roo Panes
And you are everything my heart wants
Everything my heart wants
And my heart runs
My heart runs after you
Like breakers on the shore
You’re knocking on my door
Like the deepest places in you
Calling to the fountains of my soul
Heart Runs, John Mark McMillan
Lenten listen: Why Do We Lament? from The Practice Tribe, featuring Jonathan Martin & Fr. Michael Sparough
Scripture: Psalm 42
Engage: #40acts Challenges