My heart broke 2 nights ago…I was sure that I was ruining my children’s lives…
We were settled down in bed and the room had grown quiet. Dexter was fast asleep and Desmond says, through ever-increasing tears, “Mommy, I miss daddy when I’m with you. I miss daddy when I’m with daddy. I miss you when I’m with daddy. I miss you when I’m with you. Just tell daddy to live in the yellow house with us…Tell him, you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
A line that has been used to help little ones cope with the number of cheerios dispensed, and color of construction paper received, stabbed me in the gut.
I know what my 3 year old misses. He wants that family unit again. He wants to live under the same roof with mommy, daddy, and brother full-time. He doesn’t want to be shuffled around because of a 50-50 custody schedule. He doesn’t want the 2-2-3 transient home life that he has been dealt. For him, it doesn’t matter who he is with right now…nothing feels whole.
I truly wish that it was as simple as “you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit”. I’m sure that many people insist that is exactly what I should do.
So I am trying to make this as simple as I can for little loving hearts.
I can’t explain what’s been forgiven. I can’t even broach the subject of “Why?” with their little minds.
I can’t just fix it.
I can give them hope.
I can ask them to tell me what is different now—and what is better now.
I can show them consistency in my love, affection, and routines.
I can show them my values and model behavior that I expect them to exhibit.
I can show them patience when they lose theirs.
I can show them how we are to love one another.
Last night my heart came back together as I heard my children speak with excitement about things that are…and things that will be…
I learned that I should not let my child’s meltdown keep them from attending children’s ministry; even if that means that I have to hold their hand the whole time. The love poured out over those children, and the questions asked by adults as they wonder “Am I doing this right?” resonated with me like no other experience could. It was exactly what was needed in that moment.
Stitch: This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Ya. Still good.
Tim Wilson: “When I build a log cabin, I have no perfect logs. But I fitly join them together, and when it’s done, it looks real good. That’s what a church is full of, imperfect people, fitly joined together, all doing their part.”
Stephanie: “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
