Laying in bed this morning I forced my eyes open awakened by my alarm…I was a tad disappointed because I usually wake up 10 minutes prior to my alarm. I was not incredibly surprised because I was fully aware of the Golden Girls binge that forced me to stay up too late last night.
After reading the commentary in my phone app’s daily text about the tetragrammaton, I was again excited by a message shared recently. 2 weeks ago my soul was absolutely rocked through a sermon about Elijah, YHVH, and apple pie…I reflected on the wild ride I’d been on since then. The weekend of that sermon I was asked if I was drunk by 3 different people in 3 different settings…I wasn’t. (Coming soon to a blog near you–the ultimate doorbell project.)
I believed that wasn’t all I was supposed to read this morning so I decided to flick my finger through my Bible app on my phone with my eyes closed to find what would be good. A little more challenging, navigation-wise, than just opening up a hardcover Bible…but ultimately less challenging because it did not require me to get out of bed. Conviction moment: people struggle every day just to be able to do what I am doing with very little effort. I ended up on 2 Peter, Chapter 2.
18 For they mouth empty, boastful words and, by appealing to the lustful desires of the flesh, they entice people who are just escaping from those who live in error. 19 They promise them freedom, while they themselves are slaves of depravity—for “people are slaves to whatever has mastered them.” 20 If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. 21 It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. 22 Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.”
My reflection: YOU CAN’T GO BACK. No matter how enticing and easy. You cannot go back.
I felt pretty good about it as I finally crawled out of bed…despite the fact that such text could be perceived convicting and dark–it also can be affirming and light.
I made my way upstairs, put the coffee on…decided to turn on the television. Not a usual habit–because it is usually already buzzing in the corner, left on the Weather Channel by my dad. I can’t find the remote so I have to use the satellite box to turn it off of cartoons and onto something a bit more tolerable pre-coffee. So I clicked down on the buttons until I got past some “Paid Programming” to VH1 Classic. Music videos…a tolerable morning choice…
The first music video that was played was one I had surprisingly never seen. Why was it surprising? Well, it was just one of my favorite jams of all time, that’s all…GRACE please, it was Weezer’s The Good Life. Familiar crunchy guitar riffs that excite my senses and take me back to another decade. So I quietly sang every word as I waited for my coffee to brew. I was slightly intrigued by the “DELIVER ME” skywriting 3 minutes into the video.
When I look in the mirror
I can’t believe what I see
Tell me, who’s that funky dude starin’ back at me?
Broken, beaten-down can’t even get around
Without an old-man cane I fall and hit the ground
Shivering in the cold, I’m bitter and alone
Excuse the bitchin’ – I shouldn’t complain
I should have no feeling, ‘cuz feeling is pain
As everything I need is denied me
And everything I want is taken away from me
But who do I got to blame?
Nobody but me
Screw this crap, I’ve had it! I ain’t no Mr. Cool
I’m a pig, I’m a dog, so ‘scuse me if I drool
I ain’t gonna hurt nobody, ain’t gonna cause a scene
I just need to admit I want sugar in my tea
Hear me? Hear me? I want sugar in my tea!
I don’t wanna be a old man anymore
It’s been a year or two since I was out on the floor
Shakin’ booty, makin’ sweet love all the night
It’s time I got back to the Good Life
It’s time I got back, it’s time I got back
‘n’ I don’t even know how I got off the track
I wanna go back, yeah!
Are you seeing where this is going? If so, I am going to guess that you’ve already had your coffee kick in. For me, this blog wasn’t inspired until way into my shower-time as I was still singing The Good Life. Most of my blog inspirations arrive while I’m in the shower or toweling off…Too much information? Sorry, must be said–if God is speaking to you while you’re in the shower–you should listen take His direction…where else are you more naked and clean before God than in the shower? Where else are you more isolated and free of distractions? The shower–the ultimate prayer closet–like nobody is allowed in there with you–you might even lock the door to keep people out–but you’re not alone.
So as I’m singing…”I’m a pig, I’m a dog”…and “I wanna go back”
22 Of them the proverbs are true: “A dog returns to its vomit,” and, “A sow that is washed returns to her wallowing in the mud.”
YOU CAN’T GO BACK. No matter how enticing and easy. You cannot go back.
To pursue “the good life” you cannot go backwards. Moving forward is the only option for “the good life”.
If there is something that is pulling on you, trying to get you back to that place but you know better than that, then perhaps think on this–
20 If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and are overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. 21 It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them.
I understand the temptations and thoughts that bring us to the place where we want to say “screw this crap, I’ve had it” and “I wanna go back”. But I truly believe that you can’t go back to that place. It’s not the same, that vomit will not taste the same…though it might be harder to stop eating it. If you do go back and wallow in the muck…don’t get so messed up over it that you fail to fall on your face and trust in His grace. We all have vomit, we all have muck. I’m not going to define my muck today, and I’m certainly not going to point out your vomit. Let’s just acknowledge that there is individualized user-defined muck all around. I know the old muck that I should avoid, I’m aware of the vomit that I shouldn’t return to.
But who do I got to blame?
Nobody but me
Thinking on the “DELIVER ME” skywriting message in the sky. Is it unreasonable to suggest when we are longing to go back to our own vomit that we just look up to the sky and express DELIVER ME?
I think that is an appropriate course of action. Help me avoid the vomit, DELIVER ME!
I’m just thankful that it wasn’t El Scorcho that I had to write about–I’m not even close to being ready to address my El Scorcho issues in front of the world.
[I’m sure I lost some readers on this blog post–I apologize–but it’s probably just going to get weirder–just warning you. I truly appreciate all who tolerate me.]